


ODE TO GAMORA, BY HULK

by Nemesis_Adrasteia



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bad Poetry, Capslock, Crack, Crack Pairing, F/M, Poetry, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-11-28 20:51:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18213473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nemesis_Adrasteia/pseuds/Nemesis_Adrasteia
Summary: HULK WRITE POEM ABOUT HOW AVENGERS MEET GUARDIANS, ESPECIALLY GAMORA. HULK LIKE GAMORA.(Written in 2014.)





	ODE TO GAMORA, BY HULK

**SAGA OF GUARDIANS AND AVENGERS, AND BEAUTY OF GAMORA**

COMPOSED BY HULK

SPELLING EDITED BY ARROW MAN

 

 

**I. GUARDIANS COME TO EARTH**

FIVE FALL FROM SKY  
WHILE HULK EATING PIE  
(HULK NOT REALLY EAT PIE  
BUT THAT RHYME WITH SKY)

FIVE FALL FROM SKY  
IN METAL SHIP THING  
FIVE KNOWING NOT  
THE BADNESS THEY BRING

BALD TATTOO MAN  
AND HELMET-HEAD JERK  
AND LITTLE RACCOON  
WHO UNDER TREE LURKS

AND SHE OF GREAT BEAUTY  
GLAMOROUS AND FAIR  
SHE WHO PUNCH HARD  
AND HAVE PERFECT HAIR

FIVE FALL FROM SKY  
FOLLOWED BY CURSE  
CURSE OF BAD LUCK  
AND STENCH EVEN WORSE

 

 

**II. AVENGERS FIGHT EVIL**

SIX ARE WE  
WE SIX ARE BEST  
AVENGERS FIGHT EVIL  
VILLAINS AND PESTS

FIVE FALL FROM SKY  
BRINGING A CURSE  
AVENGERS GO FIGHT!  
HIT THEM WITH PURSE

BUT MISUNDERSTANDING!  
THEY HEROES TOO  
WE FIND REAL VILLAIN  
BEAT BLACK AND BLUE!

THEN HEROES TOGETHER  
ALL GO FOR FAST FOOD

 

 

**III. HEROES OF SPACE**

HELMET-HEAD JERK  
LEADER OF TEAM  
COCKY AND DUMB

NOT COOL LIKE HE SEEM

BALD TATTOO MAN  
BIG, TOUGH, AND STRONG  
(NOT AS MUCH AS HULK)  
HIM AND HULK GET ALONG

LITTLE RACCOON  
FURRY AND SMALL  
HAVE POINTY SHARP TEETH  
HE SHOOT HULK IN BALLS

HULK NOT LIKE LITTLE RACCOON

TREE IS TREE  
HULK NOT KNOW WHAT TO SAY ABOUT TREE

BUT GAMORA!

GAMORA LOVELY!  
ANGEL FROM ABOVE  
GAMORA GREAT!  
HULK FALL IN LOVE

 

 

**IV. ODE TO GAMORA**

GAMORA GREEN LIKE HULK  
GAMORA TOUGH LIKE HULK  
BUT GAMORA NOT HULK

GAMORA LOOK DELICATE  
GAMORA LOOK SMALL  
BUT GAMORA TOUGH LIKE HULK!

GAMORA LIKE FLOWER  
BEAUTIFUL ROSE WITH SHARP THORNS  
LOOK, BUT DO NOT TOUCH  
OR GET CUT BY SHARP THORNS

GAMORA TOUGH, INSIDE AND OUT  
BUT HULK SEE PAIN IN AMETHYST ORBS  
HULK WANT TO FIX PROBLEM  
BUT NOT WANT TO TOUCH THORNS

 

 

**V. GUARDIANS LEAVE**

GUARDIANS LEAVE  
GUARDIANS GO  
WE ASK THEM STAY  
THEY SAY NO

UP INTO SPACE  
UP INTO SKY  
BEYOND SHINY STARS  
WE SAY GOODBYE

HULK SAD  
HULK MISS GAMORA  
AND BALD TATTOO MAN

HULK NOT MISS LITTLE RACCOON AND HELMET-HEAD JERK  
AND HULK STILL NOT SURE WHAT TO THINK OF TREE

BUT MOSTLY HULK MISS GAMORA

HULK WISH HULK HAD MORE TIME  
TIME TO MAKE HER SMILE  
TIME TO BUY HER LUNCH  
TIME TO HEAL PAIN IN AMETHYST ORBS

NOW SHE IS GONE  
UP INTO SKY  
NOT MEANT TO BE  
HULK SAY GOODBYE

GOODBYE, GAMORA

 

 

 

IMPORTANT NOTE: POEM SAY AVENGERS HIT GUARDIANS WITH PURSE, BUT THAT JUST FOR RHYME PURPOSES. AVENGERS NOT REALLY HAVE PURSE. EXCEPT FOR MAN IN SUIT. HE RICH AND HAVE LOTS OF PURSE. HULK DEFINITELY NOT HAVE PURSE. HULK TOO COOL FOR PURSE.

***

When Bruce Banner regained consciousness he was lying on the floor of what appeared to be an abandoned warehouse, mostly naked save for a pair of oversized purple shorts. This was not at all unusual; he had found himself in such a situation many times before and surely would many times again. What _was_ unusual was how the floor around him was littered with smashed typewriters. What was even more unusual was the fact that he was not alone; for perched on a large wooden box across from him was none other than Clint Barton.

Clint waved at him. “Hey.”

“Uh, hey.” Bruce glanced around, taking in the sight of dozens of broken, mangled typewriters. Confusion was written on his face in a big bold font, perhaps Arial Black.

“Do I even want to know what happened here?”

Clint held up a notepad and a red pen. “I’m your editor… or the Other Guy’s editor anyway. You never told me he had a creative side.

“I wasn’t aware that he did.”

“Well, he does. His poetry is…” Clint paused, clearly wracking the vocabulary portion of his brain for the most appropriate and least offensive word. “…interesting.”

Bruce recognized a euphemism when he heard one. “How bad is it?”

“Two words: amethyst orbs.”

“Oh _god_.”


End file.
